Pumpkins!

We go to a pumpkin carving party each year and carve about 4 each. It is lovely to see all of the pumpkins lined up - we have yet to get a live view of them all lit up (they string Christmas lights through each one), but I am sure it is spectacular. I only heard about a million pumpkin jokes regarding my belly. Week 27 shot below. You can see the series over here.

Motherhood Celebration

On Sunday my sister and friends put together a lovely motherhood celebration.
It was just the right mix of a traditional shower with a twist of blessingway. There was regular gift giving and mingling, but before the gifts women each brought a bead to represent a wish or hope for my birth (via Birthing From Within). There were so many thoughtful and funny hopes shared, I felt really honored and supported by these simple gestures. It was really nice to do this before opening gifts - don't get me wrong Ron and I are appreciative of the baby necessities we received, but in the end they are just that things - the emotional support will take us much farther in this journey of childbirth and parenting.
Highlight of the evening was my nephew calling the party a "bath party" and asking, "Where is the tub that is going to help the baby to come out". I love that he will be a part of my sister birth- and has knowledge of the ongoing of birth. I think another perk of home birth.




My sister and me, she's due in mid November. Her house is slowly filling up with birthing essentials - her being 36 weeks and all. It has been nice to share this experience with her.

With our mama.

With our friend Mary Ann, she's due in December.

Baby Wearing

Ron and I went to a baby wearing class last night at a local toy/baby supply store. The class was $15 per couple. It ended up being just the two of us - a nice private session that I would have gladly paid twice as much for. The woman doing the "instructing", if you will, was committed to parents wearing their babies comfortably and properly - and also to help with nursing around the house and out and about. It was very lovely and helpful - she also does drop in times each Wednesday, for free - we'll be visiting her again once the baby is here. She also gave us lots of info about local baby wearing groups and had Ron and I connect and converse about the early days with baby - he wasn't aware that people carried their babies around the house. I'm not sure we would have had this communication if it wasn't for this workshop.

Ron and I are not overly politically committed to attachment parenting - but I think we are leaning towards this if you really had to place us in a parenting category. We know the bucket car seats aren't our cup of tea (we'd rather carry our baby thanks), but at the same time we're not purists - yes we are getting a stroller (a light Maclaren umbrella). Labels aside baby wearing just seems really appealing to us. What turned us on to carrying babies is that I've used a few different carriers with children I have taken care of and loved it, and each time Ron sees a baby in a carrier he says, "I think I'd like that" so we starting thinking about what would work. This post is the little collection of carriers we have thus far - a why we like them. All done with affordability in mind.

First purchase: Craigslist (they go like hotcakes) for more than half off The Ergo these are one of the most common structured carriers that I have seen around town - and used one quite a bit (only the back carry). I think this will be nice for longer walks and hiking and around town. All of this when the baby is older (can hold its head up on own). I don't like the whole infant insert thing they offer. The plus side to this carrier is that it has longevity - holding up to a large toddler. Also in the category with some slight differences is the Beco carrier (a bit more expensive, but with a better infant/newborn carrier).

We registered for the Moby Wrap which will be a nice newborn/infant carrier. We were able to try this one last night (the shop has weighted dolls to simulate a newborn - they smelled like lavender, my pregnant nose was very, very happy). I had used one before and loved it, Ron also really liked the feel of it. The instructor also noted that it is a good way to get skin to skin bonding with dad - I hadn't even thought about that - she also noted that a lot of folks think that with nursing it is all about the milk - but really this it is also a lot of skin to skin that mama and baby get. Instead of pumping (which I am not going to do) and bottle feeding - the papa can get bonding this way. We were sold and became really excited to have this baby! The cons of this carrier is that, even though it is advertised as up to 35 pounds, most parents find that because of it's stretchy jersey fabric it gets use only up to 20 pounds, otherwise the baby begins to "sink" too far down past your waist. We felt that even though it would only go until 20 or so pounds it will be a very well used carrier for us. We like that you can leave it on and take the baby in and out without much fuss - good for transporting to and from the car in the winter months and nursing around the house and in public. I am not sure I'd want all that fabric around me in the summer when our baby is older anyway.
If you want a similar style that lasts longer and is 100% cotton (a little more breathable) a woven wrap is a good option, although much more expensive. This fabric is studier with a slight give that is on a diagonal so there is more support for heavier children. We may invest in one eventually, but we'll see how everything works out (again the whole lots of fabric in warm months - but I'm not ruling it out).

What we did purchase last night from the store (at 10% off) was a Maya Wrap ring sling. I had used one before - wasn't overly excited about it and was nervous about using one. Ron was also not thrilled about it, he didn't like the looks. Come to find out - I was wearing it totally wrong so yeah it did suck for me - this is the carrier that is most often misused - but when you get it right it feels really great! I like that I can nurse in it and have some privacy. It can be used for newborns to toddlers (or however heavy you are comfortable with), I also like it because we will be able to use the hip carry. I think this one (along with the ergo) will be used for a while around the house and short errands. There are so many brands of ring slings out there in various different materials - I like the woven cotton myself so we went with this one. Rixa from Stand and Deliver sells some in various fabrics on her website Second Womb Slings.

The final installment of baby carriers is the Mei Tei. Many people sell them and make them - there are various brands most often with fashionable fabric. In our case my grandmother is making one for Ron (well and me too, but it is really nice that she thought of Ron in particular). This carrier is versatile - and easy to use (and learn to use). It is somewhat similar to the ergo, just without the buckles and straps. It also has longevity - it can be used with infants, up to larger toddler (both front and back carry). I like that is it easy on and off. The instructor said it is also an easy carrier for grandparents and family/friends to use because of its ease to learn, I liked knowing that we can share this with others (and I'll offer up any of the other ones too).

Ten reasons to wear your baby. Why wear your baby? by Laura Simeon

Some baby wearing tips for all carriers (via the Baby Wearing Educator):

The higher the better - the bum should be around your navel or hip bones - no lower. All of the carries we tried worked with my 26 week pregnant belly because the baby was higher than it anyway.

Butt below knees - in all carriers - like a little pouch (nice and deep in the pouch). Have the babies knees straddled around you (unless it is a newborn fetal position carry that is okay). The babies legs should not be dangling down (like in the baby bjorn - yuck).

Practice with a stuffed animal, with baby on a bed, or with someone else. The best advice she gave us was that it is a learning curve, but done the right way it is great.

more thoughts on birth

Over the past few days I have grown a little scared of giving birth. Not in the "can I really do this?"way or I am fearful of pain, but the "holy shit, holy shit" reality check way, if that makes any sense. I often think I am not doing enough to prepare, like right now I can't bring myself to pick up another birth book - I am tired of exercising my frontal lobe regarding birth - I think I maxed that out last year. All I can do is knit pants and hats for the baby - and obsess if we are going to have enough damn diaper covers! Weaved in all of this is a bit of fear - I think I need some tactile experience or support in birth.

At the same time I am looking forward to birth - this may sound silly - because I will have absolutely no other obligations besides being with Ron and giving birth and hunkering down in our house for an extended period of time with folks who are going to come over and fuss over me. No one will be mad if I don't call, or show up somewhere, or (fill in the blank). Often when I get overwhelmed with life all I want is no obligations and to hide out in the house - so whenever I feel a little scared or intimidated - or what ever you want to call it about birth - I just think about this little time out of life. I like the feeling of looking forward to no obligations instead of creating various expectations about what birth will be like and what my ideal birth will be like. Which reminds me - last weekend I was able to get a free session of prenatal craniosacral therapy - it was beautiful and wonderfully relaxing. The funny part was one of the therapists asked me about my ideal birth, I responded, "not too long and not too short" took a moment and said, "and snowing" Because really if these are the only expectations I have I think I am on the right track - too many fantasy "ideal" birth scenarios can hinder the reality of birth - something that is unplannable - it is just going to go how is goes.

Week 24

I swear each time I walk past a mirror I stare into it in complete disbelief - often laughing out loud. It is hard to comprehend that this is my body, looking at my belly straight on - it looks almost fake. The baby is moving quite a bit, enough that we can see movement and I am beginning to feel pregnant all of the time. This morning I was thinking about looking forward to birth and having a baby. It is a strange phenomena - it is so close, but we still have some time to wait. The anticipation is unlike any I have felt before what is unusual is that unlike a vacation (or something else equally exciting) I am looking forward to in 4 months - this whole experience is going to be a complete change in our lives, so it is a little bit of worry along with the whole anticipation and excitement - along with complete and utter disbelief - again the whole laugh out loud thing.

On Home Birth

I have been thinking a lot lately about caring for myself. Keeping me and this baby healthy, keeping me well fed, and having a happy spirit. Overall, it is fairly easy - I live a pretty privileged life, full of wonderful people who love me. I don't have much in the sense of ownership, wealth, and/or status, but I have lots that keep me going, even if it is simply spending a whole afternoon cooking apple butter and smelling up my whole house with harvest goodness. That to me is privilege, to have a safe place to call home with someone I love and do things I like.
How does this relate to home birth? First, this could be a post where I intellectualize childbirth or write about the medicalization of it, how hospitals freak me out, how I feel powerless dressed in a standard gown and have to fight to have authority and autonomy over my own body, to move about comfortably while birthing - to have the ability to listen and respond to the needs of my own body. I could write about all of that in excess but I won't - I will say these are some of the initial reasons why we considered home birth, however the more we thought about it, it just became the right thing to do. Here's why.
Home is safe for me and for Ron. We really don't even like going away for extended periods of time, even when we travel together we get homesick. Home is the best place for us, even if it is a cramped apartment with lots of old farm house "charm". I can't think of a better place to give birth.
I also am the type of person, that when it comes to medical health care I totally fold. The institutionalization of doctors offices and hospitals makes me feel powerless and inhumane. Even with the nicest of providers - they are the experts, I am the patient. I don't stand up for myself - all that comes out is self deprecating babbling, or head nods with lots of smiling. For the most part, I have been under the care of people who expect this type of behavior in the first place, or rather, work within a system that only allows for this type of relationship, it is not because of who we are as people, but because of the culture we live in.
My point here is not to romanticize how I "imagine" birth at home or to demonize hospital births. I know childbirth is going to be one of the most difficult things physically and emotionally that I will ever endure. But it does not routinely need to be filled with trauma, paranoia, or panic and that is what I feel in medical birth culture. Testing, needles, monitoring, charts - all seem to feed into the idea that I am sick - and would make me tense, scared, and alone. I can't do that, I know myself - there are many women like me who know that home birth is the right and safe choice for ourselves and our babies. It is sad that we are often portrayed as dangerous and selfish.
At home I am a woman giving birth, with support people who know me and will care for me continuously. There is a lot of trust that goes into this relationship, they trust me, and I trust them. Most importantly, I trust that my body will do what it needs to in order to birth this baby - I am happy to know that I naturally come equipped with some amazing hormones that allow me to cope with the pain, stress, and emotions that come with birth. I have open and honest relationships with the people who will support me and with all of this I know it is what is important for me, for our family. In the long run - however this birth may turn out - I won't regret doing what feels right.

Fall is Here and Baby Belly

Lots of things go on in September - our anniversary my birthday, and the arrival of fall. I have been blessed to have my birthday fall on the Equinox this year and the added bonus of no school work to worry about on the weekends.
We celebrated our anniversary with a rainy camping trip to the beach (more photos on flickr). The birthday celebration with annual apple picking on a sunny and warm soon-to-be-fall day. It has been a wonderful and busy birthday weekend with visits from great friends and cooking good meals.

And onto the belly. Here you go folks 22 weeks and counting.